Hi, friends! It’s been a while since I posted on here. Zeke and I have decided to not get WiFi at our apartment and instead use that money to help pay off our student loans, so I don’t get a lot of time to just sit and be on the internet. Today, my phone stopped working, so I decided to get to some WiFi to let Zeke know I’m okay and Tim Horton’s sounded wonderful, so here I am – finally writing a blog post I’ve been wanting to get around to writing for a few weeks now.
New Year’s Eve has always been one of my favorite holidays. I love fireworks, parties, and watching the ball drop, and I love the idea of new beginnings – a blank slate, time to start again. Four years ago, I made a resolution to become a vegetarian for a year, and I haven’t purposely eaten meat since that day. I love resolutions, but my mental health is not top-notch at this moment, so instead of making one giant resolution, I’ve decided to instead make six small ones. Here it goes, in no particular order.
1. Stop saying “sorry” so much. I apologize for everything, and then I apologize for apologizing. It’s partially due to my anxiety and partially due to the fact that I was raised by the patriarchal society in America that has taught me I’m not worth anyone’s time. As a feminist, I need to start putting my money where my mouth is and cut this word out of my vocabulary.
2. Call out sexism when I see it. Hi, catcallers – I’m done saying “thank you” when you sexually harass me on the street, at work, etc. Hey, friend of a friend dude bro at the party, I’m not going to sit and listen to you make that rape joke without explaining exactly why it’s not funny and I will NOT laugh at it.
3. Stop feeling ashamed of getting the help I need. The other day, I had an emotional breakdown and I called work saying I had a stomachache instead of saying that I needed to take a mental health day. I, a person who fights for ending the stigma of mental illness, am afraid to admit when I’m struggling and needing help, and that should stop. I also need to work on giving myself grace when I am unable to admit the struggle I am facing.
4. Be well. I thought of calling this “lose weight,” but I think part of being wholly well – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – is to stop letting myself be defined by anything other than what the Lord calls me. I want to improve my health in all areas, taking small steps and celebrating each and every one.
5. Write more. I used to write all the time, and I haven’t at all lately. Zeke always jokes that I’m going to publish a book someday and make us rich, and although we all know that won’t happen, I still want to get back into taking time each day to write.
6. Find a purpose. I’ll be honest, life after graduating has been rough. It was always easy throughout school to see what my current goal was. Finish this semester, graduate, get into the internship at TWLOHA, get married, etc. Now I’m in this weird place in life where I have a job, am done with school, am married to my best friend, and have a nice apartment. I don’t really know what I’m working towards at the moment, and that is tough to realize. This year, I want to take time to figure myself out.
Well, there it is, friends. I’m excited to tackle this new year and see what it brings me. What are some of your resolutions? Let me know in the comments!